Catfish and Blue

Yesterday, I wrote about how the failure of my kitchen garbage disposal turned out to be a miracle at my home. Indeed, the mishap turned out to be a true blessing for my family, and allowed us to reconnect in a powerful way.

Well, today the plumbers came and replaced the garbage disposal. They arrived in a large, paneled, blue van, and introduced themselves as Catfish and Blue. Blue is an older black man, with a strong grip, a wry smile, and a twinkle in his eye. Quickly, I realized he was the lead plumber.

Catfish, the helper, is a young, talkative, heavy-set white man, who wore a pair of eye glasses fitted with lenses the thickness of Coke bottles that were set in a large, horn-rimed, black frame. Both men were very friendly.

Immediately, Blue attacked the defective disposal unit and set about removing it. While Blue worked feverishly, Catfish talked about my dog Charlie, a very large Black Lab, who stalked along the rear deck of my home and suspiciously eyed the plumbers through a rear kitchen window.

Catfish said, "Mr. Foley, I shore do appreciate an animal lover. But I hate to tell you this; you've got a horse, not a dog. Why, that's about the biggest dog I ever seen."

"Oh, Charlie only weighs about 115 pounds now." I said. "He had gotten up to almost 130 pounds, but the vet convinced me that while he can easily carry such weight, it would be better for him if he lost some weight. So, Charlie's been on a diet for about six months."

Blue said, "Well, like I said, he's a beautiful dog, but he's still as big as a horse." At that point, Catfish began to tell me about his dog, a Pit Bull and Lab mix, which he had found as an abandoned puppy, and which he had nursed until it finally agreed to take a baby bottle. "Yeah, it took me forever to get Sasha to take that bottle."

Suddenly, Blue, who was partially wedged inside the kitchen sink cabinet, started laughing. He said, "Catfish, why did you stop breastfeeding the puppy and give it a bottle?" Catfish turned red and pretended not to hear Blue. But by now, Blue was laughing uncontrollably.

Soon, Catfish began talking about his father, who is an ex-convict, while Blue talked about frying his Thanksgiving turkey. "Yeah," said Blue, "It only takes about three minutes per pound to fry a turkey at 350 degrees. Some folks say fry the turkey at 400 degrees, but I want to make sure my turkey is done. So, I never fry a turkey larger than fifteen pounds, and I never fry one at hotter than 350 degrees."

Within 45 minutes of their arrival, Catfish and Blue had replaced the garbage disposal. As they prepared to leave, Catfish handed me a bill for $175.00. At first I thought this was expensive. But as I reflected on how much I had been entertained, and how much I had learned over the past 45 minutes, I chuckled and gladly wrote out my check.

"Thank you very much, Mr. Foley," said Catfish. "And by the way," he said, "Charlie is a beautiful dog, but I just can't get over how big he is. Why, when he spreads out his paw, it's as big as my hand. If you have any problems, remember the disposal includes a two-year warranty on the parts, and a one-year warranty on the labor. Wow, what a big horse...I mean dog. Have a great day Mr. Foley."

Now, the sad part of this story is that my little Thanksgiving holiday miracle cost me $175.00. But the happy part is that I got to meet Catfish and Blue. After all, its not everyday one can get a garbage disposal replaced and learn about the joys of life at the same time. Wow, Catfish and Blue! Surely, they're the best plumbers in the world.